you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly
I always know when Ashton tweets on the band account because it’s like I can hear his accent through the words in the tweet.
if i ever met satan the first thing i would say is “did it hurt…when you fell from heaven??” It would be hilarious. The next thing I would do is probably burst into flame and get impaled dozens of times but it would still be hilarious
the scary thing about dating is that you are either going to marry that person or break up
i secretly like getting assigned seats in school because it takes away that awkward “i have no friends in this class where the fuck am i gonna sit” factor